Who Cums First?




I think I was brain-washed.

You may be too.

After decades of feminine pleasure being suppressed followed by years of feminine pleasure being empowered...

there is a distortion in the field that must be cleared.

She cums first.

Her pleasure matters more than his.

I rode this wave, teaching and embodying, for years.

I’m not positive if I said “her pleasure matters more than his” in the exact words, but there was a movement in that direction.

Yes, women have silenced their voices around pleasure for far too long- which created disempowered bodies and souls and lifeless sex lives contributing to the decline of intimate partnership success.

We needed to flip the switch: re-training our DNA that our pleasure matters too... because there was a distortion for years about how sex is just for men!

AND... focusing on the suppression of women’s pleasure is not covering the whole and it’s creating more separation between the masculine and feminine, especially in Union- which is the exact opposite of what we want.

The feminine empowerment movement must become the union empowerment movement.

The future of the planet is not female.

It’s synarchy. Union. A masculine container for the feminine truth.

I had to look at my beliefs and behaviors around ‘who cums first’ yesterday and it was a tough one to face.

There was a level of entitlement and half-heartedness tied to my (new) learned belief and it was not serving me, my partner, our relationship, or the world.

This belief was causing slight separation that would grow by the day and I didn’t even know yet but it was pulling me farther away from my true self.

I let myself become brainwashed by the new information around pussy power; although empowering and needed for a time, not full of truth.

The only way this one was caught was through complete loving compassionate conversation around it... L had to bring it up.. and then honestly looking at myself and what I had created in my mind.

I didn’t complete the realization and embodiment of a new reality (the one that feels so juicy and alive and I’ve lived before!!) until we made love for the second time.


My attention was on giving pleasure as much as it was on receiving pleasure.

The feelings it produced in his body and heart made me cry.


Have you ever cried when your partner orgasms? That was a first.

It all became clear in that moment.

What was empowering to me for years became toxic in Union. Some things are only training wheels. To help graduate us to the next.

Both peoples pleasure should be honored, respected, and given love to first.

There is no her and then him or him and then her.

Follow energies. Accept it all. Trust the natural rhythm of your bodies. Be present. And ride the waves together.

You might know this as truth when read, but I invite you to honestly check your psyche and see which program you have running around “who cums first”... because keeping that program in place will not serve your relationship or life.

Yeah... What’s your program around who cums first?


Let us know in the comments below.


PS: The disempowered masculine will do something such as ignore the feminine pleasure and just use her to "get off" and then cum within minutes, totally un-present to her experience. This is NOT what we are talking about, here. In that case, she should definitely cum first...

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