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Should you be Soft or Powerful with your Man?

Updated: Apr 24, 2018

An interesting question for you, sister...


Because if you’re anything like me, you’ve been on a path of returning to your power… returning to your sexual juiciness… returning to your voice and your stand for what you believe is true in love and life. 

You’re owning your desires and your needs and you’re speaking up and out for your soul.

You’re doing this in your business, or your career… but you’re really starting to do this within love. 

You’ve slowly been teaching the masculine to rise, with you.. by not being afraid to bring your FULLNESS to his strength. 

And….. you may have stacked some layers of baggage on top of your heart in the process… preventing you from being in the harmonious relationship to the beloved that you desire.

Consciously raising your feminine may have subconsciously raised your masculine… making it hard to merge within love. 

Consciously standing in your power may have unconsciously allowed you to put walls over your heart, instead of healthy boundaries which is perhaps what you were going for.

You may have gotten a little too defensive, a little too strong.

How do you know if you gotten to that place?

You push away love.

You argue to try and prove your point, while closing your heart.

You come at him strong, and you’re hard to crack.

You can’t fully relax in the bedroom… you think you know more than he does and where to go. 

You spend less time in your joy. 

It’s not ONLY about standing in your power, my love.

It’s also about RELAXING your power and giving into the only thing true: love.

You have to return to this balance. Feminine + masculine, yin + yang. 

For yourself and for him.

“If we women don’t trust our lover’s masculine force and direction more than our own, we won’t open completely- in the bedroom and in life. We won’t let down our boundaries and surrender in deep trust, allowing ourselves to be sexually ravished by the Divine masculine. And if we are stuck in our heads, there is a very good chance our masculine energy will not only match his, but surpass it.” Anaiya Sophia – Trusting the Masculine: Yours or His

Lilith + Eve dancing in internal union within the self is where we want to go.

Lilith represents your power, your sexual desire, your ability to stand up for your truth. Don’t abandon her. It is this abandonment of Lilith within yourself that makes you shut down and repressed… resulting in your partner potentially seeking the Lilith energy elsewhere. This dark powerful force is a part of the wild divine feminine so it needs to be a part of your divine union love.

Eve represents your softness and heart, relax… it’s safe to feel… re-emerge fully… but don’t abandon your Lilith in the process. 

Where are you on this spectrum?

Do you need to soften your heart in love?

Or stand more firmly in who you are?

Source: Please take a moment to read this post.

If you’re with a partner that is choosing to rise with you– in whatever way, shape, or form- he needs this balance within yourself. The divine masculine will not be open for anything but.

If you’re with a man that doesn’t know how to stand in his divinity just yet, he will start moving into his feminine energy, when you hold so much of the power… in the bedroom and beyond. He won’t be able to guide, to lead.. because you have all of the control. Is that worth it, to be right? It can throw a whole relationship off.. if your man doesn’t feel empowered in that you trust his heart to lead. 

Too much power and not enough softening of the heart will drive him away.

He’ll feel unseen in your shares, emasculated, and directionless in nature.

He will NOT be able to ACTUALLY listen when you bring through whats coming through. 

Internally, you’ll close yourself off to the goddess you know yourself to be, from the love that is your birthright, from the infinite joy and play that is life, and from chakras 4-infinity in the process. 

My beloved has learned to hold HUGE boundaries to my power that isn’t coming through my heart. It’s how I’m learning. Thankfully I have a partner who can see this, identify it, AND NOT RUN AWAY FROM IT… but instead devotionally guide me into the truth of my being… instead. 

Too much softness and not enough power will keep him in lower frequencies and patterns, and he won’t be able to meet the true divine masculine within himself.

With all Eve and no Lilith (all heart and no fire), you will become complacent in love, out of touch with your intuitive fire, and slowly shutting down your capacity to feel… which gets boring and starts shutting down your capacity to live in the divine feminine spirit and essence that you are… and then he stays in his lower masculine, too. 

It is you standing in your powerful truth, purified through the fire of your heart, that teaches him to rise into the lover that he is and was made to be.

If he’s not there yet? Don’t run away.

Take ownership for where you are, and what you are bringing through. And then decide to rise, together.

Kings become kings in union. Queens become queens in union, too.

Decide to become the lovers you were made to be.

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Quantum Love is our online group coaching masterclass designed to help you arrive at the best version of yourself while learning the skills + advanced tools to create sovereign, interdependent, pleasurable, intensely passionate divine union love.

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Find your truth, find your power, rise in who you are- and bring it through with kindness, compassion, and the purification of the heart.

Sisters… repeat after me.

“It is safe for me to open. It is safe for me to love. It is safe for me to rise in the flame of the beloved, both within myself and with him. It is safe for my heart to relax it’s conditioning to argue and repent and close. I am ready to see myself through the lens of love. Opening my heart and softening my defenses does NOT take anything from my power. Opening my heart does NOT mean I won’t be able to stand in my truth and hold my ground, when the time comes. I can sink, here, in this love. I can trust, here, in this love. When I open myself, I open the world. To open my heart is to love myself. To stand in my power without closing my heart is to love him. I don’t need to play any tricks or put on a facade of any kind that shows no love: this level of victimhood and trickery will NOT work with the divine masculine. He will rise with me, but ONLY when my heart is continually opening to him. He will reject my games and my closure. He will see me as I see myself. Our hearts opening together is the path, the purpose will illuminate, and it is here that we can truly SEE who we are, both as individuals, as a union, and as a grounding landing pad for the ascension of now. I won’t numb myself from feeling. I will breathe into pain and ecstasy and sadness and anger and confusion and I will TRANSMUTE it all INTO love. I am safe to love. Living as love is living as beauty. Living as truth. Living as who I am. I am safe here. I am safe in this love.”

It’s not easy… this balancing path.

Most of us need sexual healing and empowerment, relaxation into the feminine without denying or pushing away our masculine, support with our wounds and triggers (GET OUR TRIGGERED E-BOOK BY CLICKING HERE)… and we need the divine language communication skills to make the balance birth through the physical form.

We haven’t been taught what this balance looks and feels like in authentic partnership with the beloved.

It is in this self-journey and self-teaching through being… that we learn the power of divine union and how he serves as a reflection of where we are in our internal space of peace and balance with all of the energies within. Hence, we become our best high selves- the relationship is a mirror to the divine within. 

If you’re even a tad bit lost on finding and bringing through that balance within yourself and in your relationship… you’re not alone. We’ve been starved from this truth for too long. 

I believe that when we learn to balance our power with our heart… we create space for our relationships to evolve into an ascending platform for the illumination of all into who and what we really are. 

They told you to “know yourself” before you call in “the one”… but they never told you you’d find yourself there, too. 

Quantum Love is a masterclass for those of you who are ready to find this merging and becoming the balanced beloved from within. It serves as a launching pad for divine language, transformed triggers, joyous loving, sex magic, and awakening through love.

We are here to help you rise into the highest vibration of love- both within yourself and within your relationship. 

Open for men, women, and couples. Click here to apply.

With ascended love,


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